Lessons from New York
Here I’m describing some revelations I had during my 2 months doing electives in a medical school in New York. P.S.-Please do not be offended by “ We Indians”. I’ve made fun of Americans and Indians equally. Cheers!
1. American movies somehow take place only in New York.
2.No one talks to each other on the plane. You end up missing the loud banter of aunties sitting on side berth and gossiping loudly for the whole train’s benefit.
But then they start feeding you on the plane and that somewhat makes up for the lonely feeling :P
3.There are no coolies haggling amongst each other to grab your luggage. Trolleys instead, and one costs 5 $!! (=Rs.250):O:O.. And from here on the dollar to rupee conversion starts in your head… and doesn’t end till you’re back in India.
4.The taxis that we take so much for granted in our country are a luxury in US.. and you’ve to tip the driver just for driving the damned taxi.. hey isn’t that what we’re paying him for in the first place ?!
5.It’s eerily quiet once you enter your building. You shake your ears to check if they’re blocked but they’re not. For days together you see a neighbor’s door and the shoes outside but never see or hear your neighbor… Their “discreteness” is uncanny.
6.When you eventually walk around n explore the city, you realize what the fuss is all about. New York is beautiful and spic and span and lively.
7. Dogs and humans alike are well behaved, chic and beautiful.
8. Babies and little puppies come into the world pre-trained not to cry or bark, respectively.
9.As there is no crying, barking and of course no honking( God forbid! ), it’s so quiet. You eventually get used to the quiet and wonder if this was how God wanted it to be in the first place.
10.American food( not sure if Americans have any food they can call their own) tastes like tissue paper. You realize the worth of coke and lots of pepper to mask the real taste of the American food. The only thing coming close to Indian food is Mexican and even that falls short. Indian food is unparalleled. Period.
11.Speaking of Indian food, there are two great ways to obtain it. Either make friends with an Indian family, of which are many in NY or visit all the temples and gurudwaras in the neighbourhood, at Langar time.
12.Do not study or work on weekends. If you’re the quintessential hard worker (read:Indian) who sees weekends as a time to catch up on extra work, be sure to never let anyone know.
Act cool and say you slept through the weekend or watched movies or something , even if you were really cramming.
13.Suddenly, you come across people who’re honest in both their professional and personal lives, a species alien to us Indians.
14.Ask everyone ”How was your weekend?” on Monday. It’s like a rule or something.
15.It’s also compulsory to have Monday blues and crib about them
16.Americans don’t work at all compared to the average Indian. Even doctors who’re the busiest lot, have a 9 to 5 job. Even 1st year residents look fresh as daisies and get their beauty sleep.
17.A 5 day work week shrinks to 4 days eventually cz the beginning half of Monday is spent lamenting Monday blues( refer point 15 above ) and the latter half of Friday is spent in anticipation of the weekend.
18.Doctors in US can-not possibly see more than 10 patients a day. They start freaking out when the 11th shows up and faint on the 12th.Before you know it, even you start speaking their language. “Today’s OPD was freaky ! All 8 patients showed up. Whew ! “
19.None of the residents suck up to the attending. They respectfully disagree with their attending frequently, sip coffee during rounds and don’t even offer their seats to their attending. If only they could see how professors terrorize their residents in India.
20.Everytime you’re asked a question, shrug your shoulders non-commitally even while giving the precise answer. Remember to be”not sure “ always. Maybe it’s a learning technique. Not being sure is a sure way to learn more.
We Indians are always so confident even when we know nothing.
21.Text-book history is taken. Doctors in USA will not even miss out on the CAGE questionnaire if alcohol makes an appearance.
22.Oodles and oodles of sanitizer and tissue paper is used without any reason daily.
Gloves and surgical masks used indiscriminately and thrown away, until you’re itching to smuggle some of those to government hospitals in India.
23.Even the HOD will know your name ,address you as “Dr.” and ask for your opinion. A great respite from the khadus municipality hospital nurse calling you “ey intern” and treating you like dirt.
24.One patient is examined for 1 hour at least even if the complaint is as simple as “I’m irritable today”. A long list of DDs is drawn up and even the most remote possibilities are investigated thoroughly. Sometimes bordering on the absurd. All this time, doctors shrug non-commitally saying “ I don’t know. It could be anything” (Refer point 20 above)
24.If you complete a work assignment well , you are appreciated to such an extent, you feel you’ve discovered electricity or something. It feels good to be appreciated for hard work, something seldom experienced in our own country sadly.
25.There is nothing “chalta hai” about American medicine system. Something we would do well to emulate.
26.The office people will give you their full attention,smile and act like you did them a favour by giving them something to do. This one is a REAL revelation.
27.Every American you happen to talk to will tell you they “looove India”. And they really mean it.
28.You can afford to leave the sugar spilled on the kitchen counter for days because no ants will flock. Also, your clothes just won’t get dirty.
29.You will witness conferences talking about “How to make Our Hospital Most efficient in NY”. How much more efficient can one get! This is what happens when there are no problems to tackle. Americans literally invent problems.
30.Oh, and you get fed during medical conferences. So always have the conference timetable with you :P
31.When you’re freezing to death, and looking like an Eskimo covered in 3 layers of clothing, American girls are dressed in fashionable skirts, stockings and boots.
32.And they’re just waiting to shed their clothes at the slightest hint of the sun (you’re still covered in the 3 layers)
33.Everyone is constantly falling in and out of love. Women and men of all ages are eager to find their new love. Even grandchildren will not deter them.
34.Pancakes and Ben and Jerry Ice cream are to die for, and you will make long trips to try them again and again.
35.Americans are seriously ODeing on caffeine.
36.Beggars are extremely creative in New York. Reading their sign boards is a constant source of amusement.. “ Dinner tonight? You buy. “
37.Nail art is very very IN.
38.There are no Blacks.. there are just “Non-whites”. Being politically correct is also In.
39.Musicians playing for you on side-walks and at Metro stations are breathtakingly good, you may just miss your train while you listen to them.
40.There is a street named "Gay Street".. no kidding..
41.You eventually arrive at the conclusion that as we move East to West, principles escalate and morals disappear
42.While you’re there, you will lust for Indian food, music and movies.
43.You will miss the noise, the sound of temple bells, the honking, the incessant loud chatter , the crows and stray dogs, the ants.. everything.
1. American movies somehow take place only in New York.
2.No one talks to each other on the plane. You end up missing the loud banter of aunties sitting on side berth and gossiping loudly for the whole train’s benefit.
But then they start feeding you on the plane and that somewhat makes up for the lonely feeling :P
3.There are no coolies haggling amongst each other to grab your luggage. Trolleys instead, and one costs 5 $!! (=Rs.250):O:O.. And from here on the dollar to rupee conversion starts in your head… and doesn’t end till you’re back in India.
4.The taxis that we take so much for granted in our country are a luxury in US.. and you’ve to tip the driver just for driving the damned taxi.. hey isn’t that what we’re paying him for in the first place ?!
5.It’s eerily quiet once you enter your building. You shake your ears to check if they’re blocked but they’re not. For days together you see a neighbor’s door and the shoes outside but never see or hear your neighbor… Their “discreteness” is uncanny.
6.When you eventually walk around n explore the city, you realize what the fuss is all about. New York is beautiful and spic and span and lively.
7. Dogs and humans alike are well behaved, chic and beautiful.
8. Babies and little puppies come into the world pre-trained not to cry or bark, respectively.
9.As there is no crying, barking and of course no honking( God forbid! ), it’s so quiet. You eventually get used to the quiet and wonder if this was how God wanted it to be in the first place.
10.American food( not sure if Americans have any food they can call their own) tastes like tissue paper. You realize the worth of coke and lots of pepper to mask the real taste of the American food. The only thing coming close to Indian food is Mexican and even that falls short. Indian food is unparalleled. Period.
11.Speaking of Indian food, there are two great ways to obtain it. Either make friends with an Indian family, of which are many in NY or visit all the temples and gurudwaras in the neighbourhood, at Langar time.
12.Do not study or work on weekends. If you’re the quintessential hard worker (read:Indian) who sees weekends as a time to catch up on extra work, be sure to never let anyone know.
Act cool and say you slept through the weekend or watched movies or something , even if you were really cramming.
13.Suddenly, you come across people who’re honest in both their professional and personal lives, a species alien to us Indians.
14.Ask everyone ”How was your weekend?” on Monday. It’s like a rule or something.
15.It’s also compulsory to have Monday blues and crib about them
16.Americans don’t work at all compared to the average Indian. Even doctors who’re the busiest lot, have a 9 to 5 job. Even 1st year residents look fresh as daisies and get their beauty sleep.
17.A 5 day work week shrinks to 4 days eventually cz the beginning half of Monday is spent lamenting Monday blues( refer point 15 above ) and the latter half of Friday is spent in anticipation of the weekend.
18.Doctors in US can-not possibly see more than 10 patients a day. They start freaking out when the 11th shows up and faint on the 12th.Before you know it, even you start speaking their language. “Today’s OPD was freaky ! All 8 patients showed up. Whew ! “
19.None of the residents suck up to the attending. They respectfully disagree with their attending frequently, sip coffee during rounds and don’t even offer their seats to their attending. If only they could see how professors terrorize their residents in India.
20.Everytime you’re asked a question, shrug your shoulders non-commitally even while giving the precise answer. Remember to be”not sure “ always. Maybe it’s a learning technique. Not being sure is a sure way to learn more.
We Indians are always so confident even when we know nothing.
21.Text-book history is taken. Doctors in USA will not even miss out on the CAGE questionnaire if alcohol makes an appearance.
22.Oodles and oodles of sanitizer and tissue paper is used without any reason daily.
Gloves and surgical masks used indiscriminately and thrown away, until you’re itching to smuggle some of those to government hospitals in India.
23.Even the HOD will know your name ,address you as “Dr.” and ask for your opinion. A great respite from the khadus municipality hospital nurse calling you “ey intern” and treating you like dirt.
24.One patient is examined for 1 hour at least even if the complaint is as simple as “I’m irritable today”. A long list of DDs is drawn up and even the most remote possibilities are investigated thoroughly. Sometimes bordering on the absurd. All this time, doctors shrug non-commitally saying “ I don’t know. It could be anything” (Refer point 20 above)
24.If you complete a work assignment well , you are appreciated to such an extent, you feel you’ve discovered electricity or something. It feels good to be appreciated for hard work, something seldom experienced in our own country sadly.
25.There is nothing “chalta hai” about American medicine system. Something we would do well to emulate.
26.The office people will give you their full attention,smile and act like you did them a favour by giving them something to do. This one is a REAL revelation.
27.Every American you happen to talk to will tell you they “looove India”. And they really mean it.
28.You can afford to leave the sugar spilled on the kitchen counter for days because no ants will flock. Also, your clothes just won’t get dirty.
29.You will witness conferences talking about “How to make Our Hospital Most efficient in NY”. How much more efficient can one get! This is what happens when there are no problems to tackle. Americans literally invent problems.
30.Oh, and you get fed during medical conferences. So always have the conference timetable with you :P
31.When you’re freezing to death, and looking like an Eskimo covered in 3 layers of clothing, American girls are dressed in fashionable skirts, stockings and boots.
32.And they’re just waiting to shed their clothes at the slightest hint of the sun (you’re still covered in the 3 layers)
33.Everyone is constantly falling in and out of love. Women and men of all ages are eager to find their new love. Even grandchildren will not deter them.
34.Pancakes and Ben and Jerry Ice cream are to die for, and you will make long trips to try them again and again.
35.Americans are seriously ODeing on caffeine.
36.Beggars are extremely creative in New York. Reading their sign boards is a constant source of amusement.. “ Dinner tonight? You buy. “
37.Nail art is very very IN.
38.There are no Blacks.. there are just “Non-whites”. Being politically correct is also In.
39.Musicians playing for you on side-walks and at Metro stations are breathtakingly good, you may just miss your train while you listen to them.
40.There is a street named "Gay Street".. no kidding..
41.You eventually arrive at the conclusion that as we move East to West, principles escalate and morals disappear
42.While you’re there, you will lust for Indian food, music and movies.
43.You will miss the noise, the sound of temple bells, the honking, the incessant loud chatter , the crows and stray dogs, the ants.. everything.
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