Osho Ashram

 

                                                                             Osho Ashram

I reached the Osho ashram to witness a bevy of men moving around in maroon robes and I cant say I dint have doubts .. my driver looked bewildered to say the least as he dropped me off at the humble room that I was to share with Sophia .. who I got only a few hours to spend with ..but she was such a loving soul .. I knew that instinctively because Jimmy the German Shepherd adored her … and I know dogs have an instinctive connect with the soul .. so I blindly trust anyone who has earned their loyalty and love..

I was handed over the ceremonial maroon and white robes .. and attended the first white robe satsang in the evening .. There was a kirtan played and I could see the rest swaying and then really moving to it .. a lil taken aback at first but then I managed to find my rhythm .. just closed my eyes and let my body loose … there was no holding back from there on .. I moved to the music as it grew stronger tense tumultuous .. it helped me grow out of my inhibitions .. and then I decided to shed them as long as I was there .. I wanted to feel the life force run through me atleast as long as I was there..

The vast blue green waters of the Ganges beckoned .. and in the dark I made my way down to the Ganga bed .. it was a gleaming silver …discovered two small caves called the “ Ram Gufa” and “Vashishth Gufa” that were the meditation abodes of Sri Ram and a rock ahead on which Hanuman sat as the gatekeeper … a majestic and hugely humbling thought to set foot  on the same earth as the Gods . .. it was strangely calm inside the cave , and the energy palpable of the great men who meditated there and left their imprint … and the vast Ganges in plain sight .. I could fall into a trance there if only I allowed myself to …

The next morning I woke up at 5.30 am and ran down to the riverside .. to herald the magnificient sunrise .. with dear Sophia ..and Jimmy leading our way ..while jimmy dug up the sand I saw her play n laugh like a child .. that 50 year old sweet woman .. some people make a place in ur heart in a few moments and she was one of the gentle souls .. I was genuinely sad to see her leave so soon after wed met ..

I could hear the dynamic meditation starting .. I had been told titbits about this .. but this was it .. the first stage chaotic breathing .. with forceful arm movements .. until u fiercely rocked ur body .. music trembling in the background .. sounds of chaotic breathing filled the hall with a tremendous energy … until the stage of catharsis came .. where u scream and shout .,.. I felt a scream escape my lips like it was right there waiting for me to let it out .. for many years together … and I was wailing and screaming with all my mind until I felt my insides were screaming as well … and then I was crying .. tears gushing out of my eyes of their own accord … and then I had to crouch to contain myself and I was shuddering with sobs .. and I had not the faintest thought in my mind … that was the beauty of the moment … crying but no emotional tangles .. just tears flowing freely.. as they should .. my whole being was trembling and I was transported and electrified all at the same time … every pore of my body was throbbing with life ..

Next we became still … followed by slow movement ,… again rising to a crescendo with the music …

My senses were jolted to say the least .. it was difficult to climb out of the reverie .. I dint want to wipe the tears from my face but wanted to stay with the feeling a little longer!

Breaskfast was sumptuous Idli  .. very simple and delectable … made with love .. far better than any hotel fare … the food was amazing to say the least.. never sapped you of energy … and felt just right ..

We sat outside surrounded by trees and wind chimes lightly tinkling in the breeze  .. and met each other .. from different parts of the world .. united by our yearning for something more than the trivialties of daily life … a feeble attempt to escape the never ending aimless cycles … but to break free … we shared our stories of what brought us here .. our travels .. and it was liberating we weren’t alone in our supposed “ madness”

Went down to the Ganges to offer water to the majestic sun and felt all its light shining on my skin … and felt luminescent in those flowing maroon robes …

An old Babaji ,.. a sacred soul .. climbed slowly down the steps , performed the “surya arghya”  and then nonchalantly and patiently fed the fish pieces of flour .. which they leapt up and  consumed willingly .. like his little children .. and once he was done he climbed back up chnting under his breath .. I had a sudden urge to touch his feet receive his blessings but he wasn’t very inclined to do that .. he was not interested in adulation and I just came to adore him in that brief encounter ..

The day had many more meditation sessions and I felt them carress my soul bit by bit …

The next morning I woke up early and went down to the arms of Ganges .. I was confronted by the magical blue green with the gleam of the suns rays and I gasped … I was awestruck by the sheer beauty … I felt tears sting my eyes .. it was difficult to be spectator to Gods creation and feel it in every pore of your body ..  a strange feeling of gratitude and completeness and calmness  descended on me then..

The dynamic meditation I  had been waiting for .. started . and I felt so much in sync with everything then .. when I moved to the music I was moving of my accord .. I felt like I was the river .. I was floating and flowing .. . I felt myself grow lighter .. I was the Ganga .. I lost myself then .. and tears streamed down my cheek again .. as the stage of catharsis came I shed tears freely .. I let all the screams I held inside .. the anger of confinement of this unparalleled spirit …  the anger of living a limited life .. burst out through me like a volcano .. I felt so vulnerable and powerful all at the same time .. and I was delighted at feeling this electrified .. I live for intensity ,.. for passion .. and I was swirling in it .. and yet so utterly calm at the same time .. its hard to describe in words..

Once I was out of the hall .. I ran down the steps to my mother ,.. into her arms .. her blue green calm welcomed me .. I wanted to flung myself into her but stopped just at the edge .. felt her on my fingertips.. my toes and ankles … swirling ever so gently .. turbulent at places .. just like my soul … and I sat there embracing her..  the tears never stopped … I felt closer to her than iv felt for any human being in my life … I felt one with her..

And then miraculously the old babaji came chanting and muttering under his breath and I was so glad for his unearthly presence …and again I watched him feed the fish lovingly and patiently .. and then slowly hobble back up the steps ..

Gathering my composure I was back mingling with everyone .. laughing ,.. and sneaking in to watch the other mama German shepherds babies .. who were oh so tiny and adorable lying against each other in apile … mumma dog being extra anxious for her fragile pups running around them in circles .. keeping us at bay ..

We danced and laughed together ..and dicussed our struggles .. it was so easy to open up to strangers in that air that was non judgemental and accepting and relaxed .. everyone wanting to expand their spiritual wisdom .. go deeper into themselves .. no one bothered about ur status or caste or job or bank balance or decendants  .. it was good to lose my identity as a doctor for once .. its so tiring to hold onto at all times … it was more about what u got right that moment .. the stuff u were made off .. the rich experiences ud had .. the connect was instinctive here .. not planned or thought out at all … eveyones eyes twinkled and people smiled instinctively .. everyone was happy there …

In afternoon went down for a dip in the ganga .. with Swamiji .. who became our guide for swimming in the safe spots .. that was fun .. to immerse my whole body in the ganga as she gently massaged my back and shoulders .. cold  but not unwelcoming … and then followed the sand bath .. ohmg .. the warm sand on my skin as the sun rays grazed my face .. I felt I could dissolve in there …

I thought I could stay in this place for ever …. It was painful going back to the “ real” world .. if only we could understand how unreal the real world really is …