Being a Wounded Healer.. to Mumma and Papa

Dear Mumma and Papa

I wanted to write you an email as you are worried about me and Ajeet and this big bad world of medicine. You feel so proud that your daughter is a paediatrician and son in law a surgeon, but why don’t they ever seem proud and happy with what they’ve achieved? For how long will they keep struggling ?

I battle with the same questions ..  

And you are right Mumma .. we really don’t give this profession the credibility it deserves ..but truth is I do value this profession and the opportunities it provides us with.

What we’ve learnt and trained or is unique and something that affects people’s lives enormously. I may crib about my residency but I’ve saved so many lives or even made mistakes that might’ve taken some , but not had the time to give a thought  probably because of our busy schedule. If not saving lives, I’ve counselled many parents about chronic  conditions or something as simple as feeding .. and that makes a huge difference .. People aim to do good their whole life and we’re provided with the opportunity to do it daily.

I esp love it when confronted with a diagnostic difficulty and when I spend time reading about it and asking people .. getting totally involved in it .. Medicine is a very dynamic and sometimes very dramatic branch .. I was thinking about how people do monotonous jobs years together without complaining and here we have this ever changing,ever evolving arena that demands that we think … learn something new every day .. correct ourselves every day .. keep an open mind … and presents us with challenges and mysteries ..It is true that every patient is different ..theres always interesting times ahead

And then there is the satisfaction of treating a patient well ... being the first to diagnose and analyze and treat .. and it does really feel good when the patient comes back searching for us.
I appreciate these things better now that I am out of student life and a little bit independent and less busy .. \ But here for the first time I have time to talk to my patients-  Like there was a 12 year girl child who had paralysis was admitted with us and I got very friendly with her and got time to talk to her and read to her .. and another patient with a rare endocrine disease.. and now we are on the way to treating her .. the work we do is extraordinary considering the interaction we have with patients and the emotions that are reflected in our wards … so much fear and anxiety and hope and sadness… we see tears in children’s parents’ eyes everyday and yet we forget to dwell on or value these things.  

The learning curve is still steep and both  of us have much to do .. and we may seem tired to you .. this struggle sometimes makes us feel futile .. our degree seems futile when faced with cut throat competition .. 

but we’re happy doing what we do .. and though I say it many times I wouldn’t switch this profession for another
I wanted you to know that we are not lost or down and feel happy and proud about our profession, though this may be a difficult time .. but it’ll pass

Love you mumma and papa


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