The Dementor

I was unlucky enough to meet my adversary pretty early in my student life..  and this is the sorry story

What shall we call him ? I used to call him “ The dementor “ ( He very nearly sucked the life out of me )or “He who must not be named” The latter was the wise thing to do  right cause it seemed he had ears everywhere ( aka Big Brother, not unlike George Orwell’s protagonist).

Others called him Cobra or snake ,   Was pretty variable but you get the gist- an embodiment of insolence and absurdity

So lets recount some of my encounters with The Dementor

1^st year: ( Sleepy after NICU duty and attending the Dementors lecture which tends to veer off in all directions – My senior next to me scribbles “ It’s the grandfather’s drama again” and passes it to me .. I look down at it n the corner of my lip curls upwards.. And the evil grandfather pounces on us- “What are you grinning about sheepishly, Madam ?” The earth starts trembling .. his jaw is quivering ..” Out of my class” -he barks ! We scurry out .. I get looks of pity for the whole week after.. and that’s when I realize the gravity of the situation

The apology: I am advised soundly to apologize to The dementor unless I want my 3 years to be a complete misery .. I hang my head, make my saddest face n enter his office .. “I’m sorry sir.. it will never happen again” .. he looks surprised as if he doesn’t remember , but he does of course.. he remembers all too well !! He waves it off smiling ..” Just be careful about the company you keep”. As I start leaving, relieved, he remarks” What were you smiling about anyway ?”

And he is waiting grimly, expectantly .. I freeze, mumble something and scurry out ..  And I know I’m on his list ….and he doesn’t forget ….all is doomed !

2^nd year : During MBBS exam duty .. I observe wide-eyed and a little spooked as he bombards  victims with his pointless viva questions ( to which only he knows the answers) and then his questions on the snake or scorpion..his babies.. and if you don’t care for his babies, you’d be plonked right off the list before you could say “ Prazosin”. After the exam he turns toward me and asks “ And what did you learnt today doing this duty. I say the politically correct thing but inside I’m sneering “ I learnt that you’re a pointless pain in the ass”

Scorpion king : I quickly learned that all snake bites and scorpion sting patients are to be treated as royalty so that the next day the Scorpion king can come gloat .. and offer them a chocolate with that evil mirthful face of his.

3^rd Year: He takes on the position of Dean and Head of department.

I now know what the public feel when a dictator sits on the throne and control them like puppets.

A darkness befalls the whole department.

He abolishes our academics soon as he takes charge, the only saving grace of our department.  And discourages any outside faculty visiting or residents attending lectures outside …  neither will we teach our students nor should anyone else

The department falls into disarray as ego clashes ensue and professors launch public verbal fights against one another, while the dementor looks on

In IPCU, his Man Friday , who is as royal a pain in the ass , plays his part in creating havoc .. Rounds are replaced by questions on insurance and how much funds are being generated from patients. At other times, he’s found in the deans’ office either singing his false praises or demonizing others.. he’s the perfect ally. Baby cobra egging on Papa Cobra. 

Post wedding : I make the lethal mistake of getting married.

When I arrive elated after my honeymoon , I find him sneering at me every time he spots me like he’s got a bad taste in his mouth .. “She’s married. She’s useless now.” He declares openly.

I hear he refers to me as that non Tamil resident who tortures his Tamil students

I later find out I’m not the only untouchable as two of my colleagues who make the mistake of inviting him to their weddings are asked if they’d like to leave the course, instead of the traditional congratulatory message.

The memo I attend a conference and present a poster where I win an award.. . I then attend a UPSC interview, all of which I have taken prior permission for from Mougambo himself..  I come back to a letter from the dean – “ Memo .. taking far too many leaves and disrupting patient care”

By this time, I am numb to his exploits but now the realization that this guy is really and truly after my life dawns on my mind.

I’m counting the days until I can escape his claws and this place. It feels more and more like a jail to me now.

Just before the final MD exams, I’m unceremoniously dumped into NICU which is a torture cell all on its own. I find I’m handpicked for the post, and again I feel chilled to the bone. Why is this guy after my life?

Final Exam: I send sleepless nights for a month , ODIng on sleeping pills and having nightmares about the dementor. I am terrified of spending anther 6 months locked up in his kingdom , and it very much seems like he wills me to.

 He is one of our internal examiner.  On the D day, he has that evil glint in his eye. He makes funny noises while we talk , grimacing n shaking his head and bringing our confidence plummeting right to the floor. He jots down our follies on a paper so he can justify later why he failed us. The externals are astonished at an internal examiner who hates his students as much . I think they pass everyone with flying colours just to spite him ! Not that we’r a bad lot and yet  we feel  like we’ve been given a second life , and an escape out of his torture cell , never to look back again.